Nate, Nate, is a great.

 

If I were going to be completely honest....sometimes lately I have felt like my world has been ripped into a thousand billion shreds.

Some days I am really angry, sad and lonely....and well, I think that is healthy...healthy to just be honest about how you feel.

Like one of my bestest friends Alisa always tells me (and I just think it is brilliant) "it is ok to bleed, but not bleed to death". So I will! I will be frustrated for just only one minute and then stick on a band-aide and be positive and get on with it! 

So...on a really exceptionally hard day I got to visit my favorite family I used to nanny for! I just adore them and they are really another family to me. They have done so much for me and supported and loved me and I really appreciate them for that.

Natey Naterson (I call him) is the youngest and just turned the big 7. We spent so much time together and we have had some great times. One of my favoritest stories about him was when I would put him in time out and he had his blanket answer to everything (I have told this on the blog before so if you have read it...I am sorry). Our conversation would usually go like this:

Me: "Nate, time out five minutes."
Nate: "Fine."

...five minutes later...

Me: "Why did I put you in time out?"
Nate: "Because. I dus hit, and das makes berry Jesus sad."
Me: *trying to hide my laughter* "That does make Jesus sad."

Oh man, he is such a snitch and I could tell hundreds of stories about him.
While me and his mom (who by the way gives THE best advice! Love you Steph!) drove him to karate we stopped to get some dinner and he turns to me and says:

Nate: "I love you to clear pass-a sky!"
Me: "Well...I love you clear to. the. MOON!"
Nate: "Whoa...well...I love. you. clear. to....a THOUSAND!"
Me: "Oh. My. Goodness. Well! I love you passed a million!
Nate: "Whoa. Well...I. love. you. cllllleeeeaaaarrr....passseeeddd. the STARS!"
Me: "HO-ly CA-noly. Well...I love you...clear...passed....SPACE!"
Nate: "Well, yer dus my best friend and I love you.

THE end.

Wow. I felt so loved.

Put you in my pocket Natey Naterson....you made me feel so much better. Leave it to the seven year old to make me feel 100% like a million and half bucks.

I was not sad when I left there :)

Little munchie face.

 

Mister Gould

This is my beautiful mother:

 

Right now she is working in the nursery at church so naturally she comes home with some good stories.

My mom is just so automatically great with kids, dogs, hamsters... you NAME it! But it is just hilarious to watch her put ten kids at ease. When she had her foot surgery and they were stuck without her I know they really missed her in there.

Well, I have been meaning to put this story up for a while but there is a little girl named Lydia in nursery that just LOVES my mom. She affectionately calls my mom "Mister Gould" instead of "Sister Gould" (we call each other Brother and Sister in church because we believe we all came from one Father). So every week there is Lydia with her little munchie face and high pitched voice (I wish I could do it for you) to greet her and say, "OH hi Mister Gould"!

Well, over the next few weeks she was ready to go to the class for the older kids called Primary, and where her own mother teaches. This is how the conversation went:

Lydia's Mom: *excited tone* "Lydia, are you excited to come into Primary to be with Mama?!"

Lydia get's a little confused and sad look on her face:

Lydia: "But what about Mister Gould?"

hahaha I was DYING! My mom is quite the charmer.

 

The last funny thing is I didn't even know they actually had lessons in nursery! 

This week I decided to pop in.

I look in as my mom has ten kids on her lap off and on and calmly has her foot up on the chair singing "The Wheels on the Bus"...it was ridiculous to watch.

Later on she squishes their little diapered bums and munchie faces onto dwarfed chairs and holds up a picture of Christ (this one of him in Africa WILL be hanging in my house one day and is my favorite of all time...I'll just throw that in here.):

 

And then says (in her most nursery voice) "Ok kids, now who is this?" 

They all answer like they just spent an hour on the helium tank, "Desus!"

"That's right! And Jesus loves you SO much, and I know he loves me....Ok! Let's get snacks!"

Yep, that was good attention span kids. Good job Mister Gould. You are the best EVER!

MY SIS!

Today, the 25th of February (or I guess when I technically write this it is not ACTUALLY the 25th by like a half and hour, but that is not important) is my sister's day of birth.

I can't believe it but the girl is 15. That is crazy and I am not really sure I am ready for her to be all growed up and have her permit and all that judd.


I am so proud of my 4.0 g.p.a., fun loving, witty, all-inclusive, righteous, beautiful, and talented sister.

Here are some reasons why I am glad she is MY SIS:

1) She makes me laugh probably harder than anyone can. No one can pull out a faster and wittier comment than she can...especially at her age.

 

2) She literally loves everyone she meets and is constantly reminding me to only say nice things about everyone. Whenever I use the term "sweet angel" it is because I got it from her. When she catches me saying, "she really bugs me! I just am REALLY not a fan of her." There is Hannah saying, "Chels, she's my girl! And she is a sweet angel." Hahaha

 

3) She was voted most popular girl in school, but of course would she ever tell us? NO, because that is something she is A) too humble about, and B) wants really nothing to do with because she is just not like that. A sweet angel as she would say - hahah. She got voted that we all know because she is not just a cute girl, but because she really is nice to everyone. Love her. 

4) Hannah is always willing to help everyone! Especially this last little while everyone in our house has been sick she has been running from me, to my dad, to my mom - back and forth up and down the stairs.  She is always willing to help everyone around her, especially her family and especially serving me. I have not been the brightest of sunshine these last few years and she has not only put up with me, but served and loved me. Dat ma. 

5) She is such a talented girl in all she does...but especially dancing, rock climbing and singing! SO proud in all she does.

6) She is always a true friend and no matter what - I know she would do whatever she could for those she loves.

7) She never fails to listen to rap and hip hop with me and makes sure I am caught up on all the latest music...espcecially when I came home from the mish hahaha.

 

8) She always has been and always will be supportive of me and all my decisions and what I have done. 

9) Hannah is ALWAYS helping me with fashion tips because she is the ultimate little fashionista! My whole life I have just never been good at thinking outside the box when it comes to putting together an outfit...I wouldn't say I have been bad at dressing...just not creative. Hannah always looks darling, put together, and unique. Needless to say, my 8 year younger sister was always dressing me, not the other way around! Thank goodness! Especially since she has been here since I came home from my mission because sister missionary clothes do not fit the every day cute bill.

10) She is ultimately my best friend in the whole world and since I have been home I think we have been closer than we have ever been and I love being around her 24/7.  I miss her so much being down here in St. George and I am so sad I am not with her on her exact B-day! But I know she will have a blast with her friends and we will celebrate another day....she is THE BEST! So glad she is MY SIS! As I love to say, if I got to line up all the sisters that ever were and ever could be I would still always pick mine!

Hope you have the best b-day ever Sissy Poo!

My life essentially.

Today a really freaking funny situation happened that kind of summed up the way my life has been going lately....well, maybe the last 6 years. And truthfully I am NOT complaining, I just think the Lord likes to push my buttons and someone is playing pranks on me. I like to say that since you pray so much on a mission the Lord and I have more like conversations rather than prayers and so sometimes I ask him questions, like, "REALLY?!?! Are you serious?!" when things happen to me that are just so funny and just unrealistic.

Well, today Lindsey and my new friend Trumble went to lunch and we were driving back and saw kind of homely little kid with a bull cut. He turns to Lindsey and says, "Look Linds! That is who you can look forward to marrying one day!"

Two seconds later we see a little wiry blond kid on a scooter and he turns to me and says, "and there is your future husband Chels!" BAM he hits a bump, SLAMS into the ground.

We all look at each other, start burst out laughing.

I start freaking out and am saying, "GUYS! Don't let him know we are laughing!! Poor kid! And THAT is pretty ironic of what is going on in my life lately!!!"

Trumble says, "Well, Chels, you sure bring that type of crap down here when you come! Hope that is not an OMEN of your future!"

We all start busting up laughing....it was funny, but not. But SO funny.

Poor kid.

Thursday is the day.

YAY! I have an appointment with a great cardiologist to get my heart checked out.
The ironic thing is that the ONLY day available for a really long time is the day of my dad's major surgery. GO figure hahah. I should just know that those kinds of things just happen to me and think it is funny, because it is pretty funny...but not.

Anyway, this place deals with chronic migraine/seizure people like me all the time so let's just hope they find a little hole and set me up for a little surgery and fix me.

So if you wouldn't mind continuing to send a few extra prayers up for me I REALLY need them right now :) I am more nervous for Thursday than I have been in a while...for my Daddy and that I will have this stupid thing.

For now I am laying on these chick's couch for a change of scenery down in the George of Saint:

 

I don't know if seeing them has made my migraines worse or better because I have been laughing my brains out. I just love them so much and have not seen much of them since I have been home. 

More updates later, but don't forget to pray for that little hole in the heart :)

Happy Tuesday!

I could use your prayers on this one.

So I have been having these stupid migraines for a while now and we have been thinking my link has been hormones since I have issues with those for so long. Well, thanks to Heidi Mcsweeny, my amazing NP those are in tip top form...good news and bad news because there is no link.

No link to food...chocolate, sugar, caffeine...none of that.

Well, this is where I REALLY need your prayers...really, really, and it is going to sound crazy...

Everyone has been telling me lately that maybe I have a hole in my heart. I was like, "are you crazy, I have MIGRAINES, not heart problems". Well, people kept bringing it up, bringing it up! Finally I did a bunch of research and I thought, well,  there may be something to this. One of my old companions said her mom had a migraine almost everyday for 25 years and found out she had a hole in heart, had it fixed and has had maybe one a year since. Actually 1 in 4 adults have one (meaning a hole in their heart) and walk around with it and will never know it and will never show any symptoms... but for some people it can cause mini strokes and migraines...also, SEIZURES. Like my seizures.  Like the seizures I had up to 80 of a day.

My heart is the only thing we haven't looked in to after 6 years and really we could be onto something. The cool thing is also, to fix it they don't even put you under general anesthesia...it is no big deal...they give you a little sedation, put a catheter down in your leg by your groin, do the procedure and you're fixed. No more seizures, no more migraines. Well, actually you may have really bad migraines for like a month and a half after but then you don't have any.

We talked with some nurses and they said they hope I have it because it would explain why for years I have just felt tired in general and just never really felt good. They have seen people that have the procedure and have felt 110% better after and live a totally normal MUCH healthier life. It even turns out my great grandpa had one and it can be hereditary.

It sounds strange but I just HOPE so bad that I have it, because if not...they said I may be pretty much stuck like this...a migraine every other day.  I have petitioned the Lord and I just asking for everyone's prayers and faith on this because I have suffered with so many ailments for so many years and I just am ready for a break you know?  I don't think it is too much to ask for a hole in the heart...ha ha funny request, but it is our best option. I have the faith that if the Lord can do all he does, and by that I mean part the Red Sea and deliver Alma's people out of bondage, he can give me a solution and a miracle. If not, I will still be faithful and still keep plugging along until he fulfills his promises that I will be fully healed. I still think the hole would be an easy solution, but I have lots of great ideas that he hasn't used yet :). You could still pray for this very great idea to happen.

I love these women. I WANT to be these women.

 

First of all, look at those mugs.

If you know me, I mean truly know me, it just really sums up just what I love. 

Two sweet little angel old folks with southern accents.

DARLINGS!

Now here is their story and it just sums them up EVEN more.

I just love people like them and wish I could be there with them everyday soak up every inch of them, and love on them every day.

And well, I find myself sobbing at this show much more than necessary:

And then find myself just planning on marrying a millionaire or finding a way to be a millionaire so I just make sure my kids have no idea they are rich, starting my own non-profit and shamelessly giving it all away here. Then traveling all over and giving more away to my babies of Kenya who I still dream about every night.

Anyway, this girl:

was darling and I loved her on the Oprah show. She is a millionaire and still budgets and lives on 100 bucks a week...so great.

So watch THIS where the darling ladies get a GREAT surprise from my fave OPRAH. Worth your time! Love their reactions.

I love them! If everyone was like them, well this place would be a whole lot better. They are twins and say the Lord sent two because there was too much to be done! So true, and I love their mottos  which are, "Number one, there is but one Father and that is our Heavenly Father. Number two there is but one race and that is the human race. And number three not to take the last piece of bread from the table because someone might come out of this hungry." and their last motto of The Love Kitchen  is "Everybody is God's Somebody". AMEN! I love them. I am in love. I want to be them EVERY day.

HAPPY SUNDAY! Serve someone today :)

Pure Hilarity

Lately over at the Gould house it has been pretty funny because of this chick:

 

My stunningly beautiful Sis (who I wish would have saved me some of that brown Hawaiian gene and beauty gene instead of STEALING it all for herself!) has a birthday coming up and has been BEGGING for one of these:

 

My Sis has a sense of humor like you would not believe and so she has been doing all kinds of convincing, paired with REALLY high voices and pictures taped in various places of these little muffins:

 

Uhhhmmmm,... SO cute, and so funny. She is hilarious and who wouldn't love those puppies right?! My dad! Well, I know secretly he does. PS. these little munchkins don't grow! They STAY that size. Bah, kill me, I am such a sucker for doggies.

So Hannah needs to get everyone on board with this, so what does she do for her strategy besides sticking small pictures of cute furry animals??

Sticks in this movie which my mom has never seen! PURE GENIOUS!

 

I mean the girl is pretty dang funny if you ask me, always making kissy faces at pictures of puppies. I am on board 100% and always trying to help get the parentals on too because I love them and I think my lover, needs a Brudder:

However it is not looking so good because CLEARLY the dad is not on board and mom is only half way. So we will see! I hope, I hope! 

HAPPY FRIDAY

It's that time of year.

I just love that time of year when all of the good shows and series are on, especially AI! This season is proving to be quite the gem and I am LOVING the judges panel - ESPECIALLY Steven Tyler as a judge! He was always the great rockstar, but as a judge - no one is as intuitive, compassionate, and dead on as this guy is....and well, I just didn't see that coming. This panel works well together and is a breath of fresh air to Idol. I miss Simon, however I am really loving this season. Annnd J Lo's outfits look fly.

Last night: group rounds. I think group rounds are kind of stupid and sometimes kill people who shouldn't be killed. However, last night there were some awesome performances! Here are some of my faves.

Some amazing 15 year olds... WHO BREEDS THESE KIDS?! I want in. 

I bet the winner this year is underage because there are SO many good minors! (There are more minors besides this group too)

These sexy women. 

You could make a new Destiny's Child now. AMAZING. Harmonies were so great.

And these two groups took a chance by singing A'capella. BRAVE. Same song, even braver and maybe stupid.

The second group way better.

LOVED em.

Off the topic of the groups if you haven't seen this feel good story it makes me cry every time. 

I love him.

Love his voice.

Love his sweet little heart wife.

And his sweet heart of love.

Happy Valentines Day.

And last but not least we have this cute little Mormon boy in the running who just got home from his mish and has a great voice.

 

Since he has a great voice, was in my friend's mission, is sweet, and is Mormon, natch I love him already! Hahaha, love it.

Hope everyone has a great American kind of day.

PS. I went to the doc yesterday and my hormones look great and the meds are working! I am so happy! As far as the migraines are working we are praying really hard that I have a certain condition that is treatable. I won't go into details but I have some more testing and I really just need everyone to pray that I have this condition that is treatable. Can you please pray for that? Wishing you love to your family and so grateful for all your love and prayers thus far!

Should I be scared??

So for some of you who know me personally know that for the last 6 years of my life I have been on a health roller coaster, and I mean truly hellish in some ways if you ask me. And well, my parents have taken the brunt of it and taken the bigger burden by watching me suffer it and then taking the support financially and emotionally. It has not been fun by any means, but trust me when I say I have learned some amazing life lessons in the process and through every seizure, knee surgery, blood test, and therapy session grown into a better woman. I will also thank the heavens that I went through this now and not later on when I have children and million other things to do. 

That being said we have really reached the basement level on all of this! I am so happy with this NP we have found (if you are in Provo and need a good OB/GYN Heidi Mcsweeny is AWESOME! Love her!) who has really gotten to the root of so many of my issues. I think we can finally put that past behind me and can move forward even if it is going to take a little while for this medicine to kick in. Monday I have another blood test to see how it is working and Wednesday another follow up appointment to see how all that should be checking out. So on the hormone side of things...it's all looking up!

On the whole other spectrum is this new issue that has suddenly decided to show up in my life and that is this Chronic Migraine Syndrome. Does anyone have this or know of anyone who does?? I have started to do some research and I don't know if I should be scared?? This literally has taken over my life and I am completely flat in bed every day. If you have ever had a migraine you know how much it hurts and how badly you feel you want to die and even how crappy you feel the next day. And to be honest, I thought I was sick when I was having seizures all the time, but that doesn't touch how I feel lately. One migraine is bad enough, but right now I have sometimes 6 to 12 a week and that really makes me mad. The Topamax I feel like has cut them down to maybe 5 to 10 a week sometimes, but I have a migraine almost every day and in between each migraine I feel horrible. I am literally nauseated all of the time, sore muscles, depressed especially right before the attack, sensitive to light and sound, insomnia, fatigued, and tension headaches where the migraine happened. The reason I am putting this on here is not to complain but just to see if anyone else has dealt with this, because when I have done research I have only found grim results of people dealing with this for years and years and ruining their lives....

so should I be scared?

Because I am kind of scared. I can only watch so much TV and it has already been over 2 months of laying down so....any and all comments and prayers are totally welcome!

 

Balentines Day

I love Balentine's Day! That's what we call it over at the Gould house, and to tell you the truth I don't know why we started calling it that but ever since I can remember the "V" has officially been turned to a "B".

Now, I am not one of those people who becomes all grumpy and upset around Balentine's Day just because I am not dating anyone. I don't call it "Single Awareness Day" or wear black or eat a bucket of ice cream...NO! That is dumb. I LOVE Balentine's Day!

I love it when I am sappy and dating someone and when I am not.

Here are my TOP ( I am in a listy mood lately) reasons why YOU and I should love Balentine's Day whether or not you are currently attached.

1. Balentine's Day Outfits.

My mom also loves Balentine's Day and she always gave us a small gift and it was usually a cute Balentine's Day shirt or something cute to wear. I love to get dressed up and wear something pink or red on this day and so I went fake internet shopping and put together this cute outfit that could be potential Balentine's Day attire...dat ma.

2. Balentine's day boxes.

Even if you don't get to still make them and use them this year, the thought of elementary day Balentine day boxes are THE best ever. Whoever came up with these was SURE genious...look at these children's faces...it is enough to change the world.

3. Grocery Aisles at Balentine's Day.

It just makes me happy to go down grocery aisles and see them looking like this:

Nothing makes me laugh harder than knowing I can buy fuzzy handcuffs for my best friends and a horribly scented candle down the aisle at Harmons...who said money couldn't buy you friends? They were dead wrong.  I can also buy myself a "grow your own boyfriend" and well, it never gets old.

 4. Julie Ann Garbutt:

 This is Jules and we have been friends since forever. And well, we don't  get to see each other very often, but I can still finish her sentences. Her birthday is on Balentine's Day so you can't hate it because it is her day of BIRTH. And I love her face so I will always love this day.

5. Sugar Balentine Day Cookies

I love sugar cookies, but I love them SOOOO much more when the have pink or red frosting on them with crunchy sprinkles and I am enjoying them in Feb. There is just something so different about them, and I have no other argument except for that I just like them way more at Balentine's Day. Ha.

6. Cinnamon Lips Candy:

Cinnamon Lips candy are the absolute best and we always have it out as soon as Feb hits. They always get me out of my January slumps and reminds me that spring is hopefully not too far away and the Balentine's Day is a GREAT holiday!

7. Valentine Cards/ Secret Admirers

Well, I really do LOVE the old vintage valentines and all the cute sayings, but also I love to get cute cards from those people you do love whether that be friends, neighbors, relatives, or your special someone. And if you do have a secret admirer....well, then your day turns out better than you expected!

So everyone stop being whiny and admit that Balentine's Day is GREAT. I could come up with more reasons, but once again it is late....


HAPPY BALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONE! ENJOY IT THIS YEAR!

Things I'm just really loving.

I really love blogging and really love writing and I really love having something blog and write about. Lately that has been lacking since I mostly lay on the couch and watch TV and judd like that. I mean it's exciting and all, but not really. HA!

HOWEVER, if I was going find some things I really was loving right now I would have to say I would be loving...

1. These men:

2. That Scuddles is my BFF downstairs on the couch every day...and that I love Papa in the background of this picture. It is too good to be true.

3. I am pretty much always cold and my toes are always cold. In the winter at any given time you can probably find me sporting Dixie sweats, hoodie, t-shirt, giant puffy fuzzy socks, and of course - my favorite - a fleece blanket. I LOVE a good fleece blanket. My favorite I ever made is still out in the field and I can't wait for it to come back to me.

4. I am really loving a lot of new music - well new to me since I was gone for six months - but also loving this song and this video. Chris is also looking pretty good so I love him too. 


5. When I was in Thailand in the summer I got this amazing Thai boxing oil and it burns so good! So I love it. When I get a bad migraine all my neck muscles twist up like a rubber band and my mom rubs this in and it helps as much as anything can help. Thank you Thai people!

 

6. These boys. They are just so great - some of my best friends and always there to help me laugh and have a good day when it isn't a good day. This picture is for sure my favorite and perfectly describes each of our personalities and our relationship soooo perfectly...HA! I love them.

7. Some of my favorite outfits which I love:

 Anyway, I also love not having a migraine and being able to sleep at 2:30 in the morning so I am going to try that and try going to sleep like the rest of the world. 

Happy monday everyone :)