Well, sometimes I have to wonder if someone is playing a sick joke on me somewhere up there! It sure is funny...and well, not funny.
Today I met with the doctor here:
and had to have more tests done. This was the third trip to St. Mark's this week....so ya. It is becoming all too familiar up there. Please no more visits!
As for an update, we looked at the official results of my bubble test and well, the hole is pretty big. In fact, we saw about the same amount of bubbles passing through the hole as we did before the surgery.
The reason this was a little strange is because at my 6 month check-up, the hole was totally closed and we saw almost no bubbles and I was feeling incredible. So something has changed, obviously because of the hole, but also because I feel just like I did before surgery...the migraines everyday, the nausea, the muscle aches, the confusion, and being so tired and fatigued I fee like a limp noodle. It makes me so sad to be back in my dark hole in the basement again.
Definitely just so frustrated, I am not going to lie. Reliving this nightmare especially while working full time and going to school full time is just not fun. However, I am so grateful that we at least know what is going on and we have a direction to go.
After visiting with the doctor he told us that we have a few options.
1. There is a possibility that in 6 months the hole will be able to heal on its own. This would obviously be the ultimate! The only problem with this is if I continue to be completely useless during these 6 months having migraines every day. This would definitely not be the ultimate solution and I just can't function and live life like this.
2. They did a trans-doppler test that shows how many of those bubbles are going to my brain. If there are a lot of them that show up in my brain this means I am a pretty big stroke risk and we don't have 6 months to wait for it to close on its own. This leaves us a couple of other options...
- We can do open heart surgery, take out the device, and stitch up the hole. This is risky because, well, it is open heart surgery. This is a big deal and I would have a long recovery and one really big scar that I really don't want. However, it would guarantee it to be completely closed and have no risk of stroke in the long run.
- We can go through my leg and put in a second device underneath and next to the other device. This is really difficult to do and can put you at a risk of a stroke down the road.
- We can go through my leg and insert a sponge underneath the device that will expand and hopefully fill in the hole. This can be risky too because it might not seal it right and then we are left with the same problem again.
So what to do?? I don't know. I will hopefully know a little bit more on monday or tuesday when we get the results of the trans-doppler. No matter how much I do not want surgery, I would be so happy if we could just fix it and move on. Wouldn't that be nice?? Ha!
It is quite the emotional process and I just think the most difficult part is the feeling that I am going backwards after doing so well! Definitely no fun, but I know I will be fine and we will get it fixed one way or the other.
And finally, thank you for all the sweet texts, words of encouragement, prayers, and the Relief Society who made me feel so much better after a few rough days. I have the most wonderful friends and support and it means so much to me and really helps to get through this set back.