Thursday, November 29, 2012

My Thanksgiving in pictures (mostly).

I had an incredible Thanksgiving break! It was so fun because this year my birthday fell on Thanksgiving. Everyone was so amazing and made me feel so special and loved. 

So here is my weekend in pictures :). Hope it was a great break for everyone else too.

I went to Skyfall  and came out at 1:30 AM and I had all these texts and FB messages that started my birthday out so amazing. Props to Scotty for being #1 to start out the day at 12:03 AM.

I also woke up, thanks to my Sis, to the 50 Cent song In Da' Club, as per my request, because shawty, it's my birthday. And I wanted to party like it's my birthday. 

I was also in shock when I walked upstairs to find my aunty Diana here that I have not seen in probably 10 years. I love, LOVED having her here and spending time with my family.

We played tons of games (especially Scrabble), watched tons of movies, and laughed our pants off. 

This was the night we had my birthday dinner which consisted of delicious ribs and rice, Hawaiian style, and lots of good times.

And of course, my sweet mom made my favorite Cherry Chip Cake. I have had it every year and I love, love it. Always will. 

Also, we have laughed and laughed about this picture because of my giant cleavage that isn't actually cleavage. My scar has now made my chest look 20 times the size it actually is. Good times.

It was a great break and a very, very happy birthday. Although, I will say turning 24 hasn't settled very well yet....I just really liked being 21 and feel like forever I want to be that age. Forever 21 yo. Like the store.

Well, happy thursday!

And happy stupid finals crunch time. Yuck.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Here we go again....

I am scheduled for my next surgery, or procedure rather, of a cardiac ablation on December 6.

Here goes surgery number 10! We're officially on to double digits...yuck. 

Way too many for 24 years old, but it is what it is.

Up until now I feel like I have been pretty brave and ready for whatever is next. But this time around, if I am going to be honest I have a huge amount of anxiety. The last time I had this procedure done when they put the device in originally, it was a horrible and terrifying experience and I feel like I seriously have post traumatic from it!

Just to give you an idea of how the process goes is they strap you and your arms down above your head to a board, like in the picture above, and you have about 20 or so people rushing around in the room working on you. Usually they give you some medication to knock you out, but for me it didn't work. I'm quite the heavy weight apparently because 8 doses later (the maximum amount), I was still awake and talking. So there I am, naked on this table, strapped down, and being numbed in the groin area (which hurts quite a bit), wishing I was asleep so much. 

To make matters a little more interesting I can actually watch everything they are doing to my heart on the screens next to me. It is a very freaky experience. I think the surgeon forgot I was awake when he said, "uh-oh, we have a very big problem here..."

"Well, that's super awesome" I think to myself, and I start freaking out.

Then, towards the end in order to get the device in place they yank on it as hard as they can and say to me, "this is going to be pretty uncomfortable" and then send my heart into hysteria and massive, incredible, ginormous, amounts of chest pains.

In the middle of this horrible experience, my anesthesiologist turns to me and says...."I'm so sorry, you should have been asleep for all of that."

Well, Mr. Gary (that was his name, I still remember.) anesthesiologist man....I don't like you one bit right now. Give me a freaking Ambien for all I care. I just don't want to be awake at all please! 

So yes, to send myself back into that situation makes me really nervous. And I really am pretty weary of being poked and re-poked and jabbed and tape yanked off again and again. And they better sure as heck use some different, much stronger meds and knock me the heck out because that was a nightmare I really do not want to relive.

I know it has to be done and I am going to be fine in the end. But I have really tried hard to prepare myself for every situation possible and know the risks involved. People keep telling me to not catastrophize the situation or create a negative self-fulling prophecy and to have a better attitude. But how can I not think about those possibilities when for years every time I was told I was going to get better more complications have come up?

I don't think I have a pessimistic attitude, just more realistic this time around. Things could go great! And I would be so incredibly happy for that. Obviously that is what I want and I am hoping and praying that is what is best for me in the end.  But I guess I am trying really hard this time around to not get my hopes up too high because I am scared of being disappointed again. 

So that's how I really feel. Is that bad?

I'll take any prayers I can get.

More later. 

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

There is nothing better....

than getting new music.

I love finding great new music (or even old that you forgot about), adding it to your iPod, and blasting it in your car as loud as you want.

Last night I did just that.

I went out with friends and it was so fun! And then afterwards it was really late and hardly any cars were out.

So I blasted my new tunes, and drove....and drove....and drove...

 (trying not to think about how much gas I was wasting)

Really it was just so relaxing. And wonderful.

I like pretty much every kind of genre of music (country, rap, indie...whatever.) so playlists get kind of weird and muddled, but I love them!

So here is my most random playlist to date:


While you listen, I'm going to keep doing a big. fat. nothing. staying in bed with Scuddles (and continue trying unsuccessfully to do homework).

Happy Thanksgiving Break!


The Lazies

Sunday, November 18, 2012

A Liebster? Huh?

Well, what a cute little surprise. That darling Rylee Blake nominated me for the Liebster award for my blog! I have no idea what a Liebster is, but it kind of sounds like "Biebster" so it feels like a pretty big deal...haha. 

Apparently how this works is that it is given to blogs who have 200 public followers or less. It is a way to get your blog out an get a few more followers as your blog is growing. Very angelic (as my sister would say)!

Here are the rules:

- Must list 11 things about yourself
- Must answer the 11 questions the nominee made for you
- Choose 11 of your own favorite blogs to nominate.
- Create questions for them to answer and let them know they are nominated.

So here goes nothin, Liebster!

11 things about Cheltz.

1. I absolutely love rap music.
I'm not usually your stereotypical rap lover, but I get quite a kick out of it.
For some reason if I hear something, I memorize it really easily...
especially music lyrics and movie lines.
My favorite thing to do is memorize rap songs and bust out every. single. word. for people.
Especially when they least expect it.

I wish you could see their faces. 

2. I have a lot of embarrassing moments. Quality embarrassing moments.
See post HERE.

3. I cannot, and will not go to bed until my nightly ritual has occurred.
This consists of:
- generally a bowl of cereal
-brushing of teeth
- washing the face
- taking the contacts out, 
- chapstick and lotion (a MUST),
- telling my family "love ya, ga-night"
 - writing a few things I am grateful for
(and ya, maybe checking Facebook. #addicted).

And even then after all of that, I still have the worst insomnia known to man.
That's where sleeping meds have been a gift to me.

4. Speaking of sleep, if I could change only one single thing in my life, 
it would be the ability to sleep at night.

Hands down. 

My body is weird (duh) and since about 7th grade I have been able to sleep any time of day
.....until about after 9 PM. 
 All of the sudden I am wide awake!
I stopped taking naps to try and get my cycle in sync, to no avail. 

5. I have an incredibly over active conscience.
Always have, probably always will.

Sometimes it is good, and other times it has caused a lot of anxiety over spilt milk. 

6. I'm pretty sentimental and have saved every letter/card/note I have ever been given.


I think because I have had so many people pass away in my life, I just want to keep any and all piece of memory of every person that ever took the time to think of me. 

Yes, I even have all of those notes from 7th grade we passed from locker to locker.
They are just too funny and too great to throw away. 

7. I don't like sweets or chocolate very much.

I know, right?

I honestly cannot think of a time I have ever eaten an entire candy bar in one sitting.
I would honestly probably throw up. 

 I think it is due to my mom not feeding me sugar when I was a baby.
Yup, she was one of those moms.

People always say, "wow! You are so lucky, I wish I didn't crave sweets!"
Not really, because I just crave salty things instead, which is probably worse.

8. I have been to 49 states. 

Yep, never been to Alaska.

But I owe much of that to driving cross country when I was little and 3 week road trips with 
my grandma every summer where we would try and hit as many states as we could.
We even would stop every place we wanted to along the way.

It was magical.

I love to travel and have amazing memories from around the world.
Don't tempt me with cool places to go.
In my mind, I am already there.

9. I have had 10 surgeries and a lot of painful procedures done, 
but cannot handle the dentist or shots in my mouth. 
My anxiety goes through the roof even to have a cleaning done. 
I don't understand this??

10. I didn't used to be, but have turned into quite the clean freak.
I love to clean.
I love to have all my stuff in R.O.Y.G.B.I.V. order and lame stuff like that.
I can't handle if my bed isn't made anymore when I leave my house.
Kinda good, kinda lame. 

11. Man, I can't think of 11!

Here are Rylee's questions...

1. if you could do anything and money was no matter, what would you do?

Definitely travel all over the world seeing new things and learning and doing humanitarian work.
 It sounds so cliche, but nothing makes me happier than helping others.
 Especially kids who have not a chance in the world to make it in third world countries.
Nothing is like holding a child and loving them with a different kind of love than I can even explain.
Most of the kids in the orphanages I worked in had never been held or told 'I love you'. It is an incredible experience and I would just love nothing more than to do that for the rest of my life. 

I just said love a lot in that paragraph, but I really do love it so much!

2. what is your favorite memory?
Probably Africa.
Or my mission.
Or experiences with each family member.
Or going through the temple.
Or all my amazing times at Dixie.
I don't know! I have so many. Can't answer that!

3. who has made the biggest impact on who you are today?
My parents.
My parents are so incredible and have taught me so much!
I know everyone says that, but really my parents are the best.
They have done so much for me and taught me so many lessons and have strengthened me so much.
I adore them.

4. if you could be any celebrity, who would you be and why?
Oh this is easy...Oprah!
I love that lady.
I would love to just have zillions of dollars and give so much away.
So fun!

5. favorite holiday
Christmas and Halloween
Really I love all holidays though.

6. favorite movie
The Grinch.

7. who is your biggest role model?
Still my parents :)

8. where is the best vacation location?
Hawaii and Thailand

9. what goals do you have for the next year?
Get all of my health issues out of the way, graduate, be better at budgeting, and get skinny (kinda hard when I can't exercise...oh well! I will get there one day.) 

10. what were you like in high school? 
Super involved in everything, especially student government and Operation Smile.
I really had such a great high school experience and had amazing friends that I am still very close with today. I really don't know how I got so lucky to love high school so much! But I sure did.
I feel like I had friends in every kind of group and that it wasn't as cliquey as a lot of other schools.
I really loved that. Good experience all around. 

11. What makes you happy?
So many things make me happy! I am grateful for so many amazing things in my life.
Mostly family and good friends and my little Scuddles and pushing myself and accomplishing goals.
I am also happy when I am meeting new people and serving and living the gospel of Jesus Christ.
I'm just happy!
That's all. 

I nominate these kids:

Friday, November 9, 2012


Like I was saying in my other post, I really, REALLY, really need to get out of my contract for my apartment. It has been a great place to live, but I have spent an incredible amount of money (for me) to a place I can hardly live in. I planned on moving out to have more of a social experience before I knew I would need open heart. Now, I am picking the worst time possible to sell because of all the girls at BYU trying to pick up and leave for a mission selling their contract.

So I am asking from the bottom of my messed up little heart if you know of anyone who is looking for a BYU approved, female, private room/bathroom to let me know!

You will get an awesome deal because I am paying $360 per month currently and will give it up for $299 a month. It includes washer/dryer, new carpet, all new furnishings, covered underground parking, internet/cable, close to campus and Gold's Gym, great ward, and central air.

Sorry for the bad pictures, but you get the idea.

Email me at if you or anyone you know is interested.

Thanks so much!
Wednesday, November 7, 2012

This is what's up.

So I have been meaning to give a little update and it has been so crazy. I didn't want to post anything until I knew for sure what was going to happen and now we have a pretty good idea.

Here is a pic of my new heart monitor (and my voter sticker. Tough, tough loss. Giant pill to swallow.).

It's pretty crazy, and pretty expensive, and pretty hard to cover up with most of my shirts. I get some pretty funny looks, mostly because I am so young I think! I'm over it. It goes with my giant scar and it is what it is.

It comes with a cell phone that goes crazy when my heart goes nuts or go further than 15 ft away from it. My heart is constantly being monitored as well as I have to call and report anytime I feel any symptoms (SVT's, dizziness, rapid heart rate, PVC'S, shortness of breath, etc..). Then there is a small box that you can wear on your belt loop...I look very official. As well as a little fanny pack looking thing. I'm super cool is all I can say.

So as of now the patch they put in my heart is pretty big and it is in the septum separating the top two chambers of the heart called the left and right atrium.

The patch is about the size of a quarter and is a tissue that is not electrical conducting. My doctor explained it like a round-about. Most people's heart would create it's own electrical path where the conduction would go around and come out at one side and be just fine. Mine, for some reason, is just getting stuck at the patch and going around and around and around. This is making the bottom two ventricles, the really important part of the heart, freak out because it is getting spotty electrical signals. It is making them pump so fast and so hard that they don't have time to fill up with blood, and therefore the rest of my body is not getting the proper amount of blood. I black out when this happens and go numb in all of my limbs and have a lot of pain.

When they put me on beta blockers and rhythm pills it stops these episodes for the most part. Unfortunately they keep having to up the dose more and more because they keep breaking through and the side effects are just awful. The hope was that 3 months after surgery my heart would kind of "figure itself out" and I would be ok and the beta blockers would hold me over. Now that it is 3 months after and I am still having them even through the medication, the chances are very low.

We decided that I would wear the monitor for the next month to get a better idea of where they are happening and what other things are going on so the doctor can get a greater plan for the procedure. We also were just giving it a little more time to see if maybe there is a chance that it would go away and my heart could heal and be a little stronger for the surgery (ablation).

So, in december he is going to go in and burn some scar tissue from the patch to another non conducting tissue, like my valve, to stop the signal from going around and around and around. Generally it is not a big deal, they go up through my leg and that is that. The problem is there is just the chance of so many complications like creating a new hole in the patch and having to be opened up or having to have a pace maker. I could bore you forever and a day for all the could-be possibilities, but I won't. 

Case and point, I'm nervous. I haven't been nervous til now. And I honestly don't know how I could handle much more. That is why in my prayers I no longer ask to be healed, but I ask to be helped and to have the strength to handle whatever else is going to happen. I have a feeling this trial is not over, but I know I can do it. I know whatever is happening is best for the long-term issues. 

Everything is just so up in the air and that is really what stresses me out. I really need to sell my apartment contract. I really need to get a job, but if something happens and I am sick for much longer that is not an option.  I really need/want to finish school. I want to be social. I just need to function, and right now every day brings a different challenge. One hour I might feel a little better and the next I am dragging and not feeling good. So who knows? I don't. I am just trying really hard to have faith that God knows best and things will work out. I don't know how, but they just will. 

So that's it for now. Sorry this is so boring, but that's the plan for now! More later. 

Friday, November 2, 2012

I love makeup.

Oh man. Halloween is awesome. It is ESPECIALLY awesome when your mom is a hairdresser and makeup artist. This year I was feeling pretty horrible, but I was so excited for my costume and a particular party that no matter how I was feeling I determined to go.

So I made it! And even if I didn't get to make it the whole night, I had a blast while I was there and I had such a great time getting ready with my mom.

This year I was a "toddler and tiara" baby. Mostly "Mckenzie".

If you haven't seen the show and don't know who she is, watch it here:

You will die.

My mom has always done an incredible job on costumes year after year, and hair and makeup for things like prom, pageants, halloween, (friend's) weddings (mine eventually one day) in point:

See what I mean?

She is awesome, and it has been so fun. And it has rubbed off on me and how much I love, love, LOVE makeup. 

My essentials:

MAC Waterproof fluid line eye liner.
Won't budge. 
Especially with my watery and sensitive eyes with contacts.

MAC Studio Fix Fluid Foundation.
Also stays on all day.
Full coverage.
Oil Free.
Doesn't feel heavy.

 MAC paint pot.
Put this all over your eye before eye shadow.
Doesn't matter what kind of shadow you are wearing, you will get a lot more out of it with this.
Once again, it won't budge!

 MAC long wear blush.
All I can say is this goes on beautifully.
Stays all day.

Clinque 3 Step facial care.
I just started using this recently and can already tell a difference.
My face is so soft and a lot clearer!

I adore this powder. 
Light and fresh and keeps your foundation looking great all day.

So there ya go. Love this stuff! And for years I kept buying cheap grocery store make-up because I was convinced I was saving money...but not true. It might be more expensive up front to buy department store make up, but it lasts FOREVER. And you can try it before you buy it, instead of buying 50 things you don't like. In the long run you save more, and save your face. Literally.

And finally, I leave you with this hilarious video and little darling giving her own make-up tutorial. Reminds me of myself when I was little playing in the mirror with my mom's make-up! Enjoy!