Bitter sweet.

I got to go back and work at my very most favorite old folks home in the whole world. It was so fun to go back and see so many cute wrinkly faces that I adore so much. Some remember me, most don't, but as time went on today they started to remember...some.

 It is amazing how close your heart feels to someone when you really care for someone and do something that they can no longer do for themselves. I love being an aide. I love going above and beyond to help the elderly.

Freak, after living 80 plus years and putting in a full life of hard work, devotion to a family, and to others I think that that is just a given that you get that kind of care. I mean, it's not all fun. I don't love changing briefs, dealing with throw up, and many other various bodily fluids...but I know how much I want my mom to be there to hold back my hair when I have to throw up. It's not fun, and it sucks, and no one should have to go through many of the mean and vicious ailments that are basically inevitable.

Anyway, I loved it so much tonight, but I got pretty teary and had a super hard time as I walked down the halls to see so many name plates that have since been removed. It makes me heart hurt to go back and see who is there and who is not.

My last week of work at Southern Utah was torture. Never have good-byes been so hard when I know that in a year in a half most of them won't be there. How do you say goodbye to someone like that? If you have any suggestions I would love to hear them, because I have said too many of those goodbyes.

I love those people. 

Adore them.

With all of me.

I hate saying goodbye.

I guess that is why I am glad there is an afterlife...

I will wait til then to see all those sweet little hearts. 

More later.