A great phlebotomist tale.

Yesterday I needed to get a full panel blood draw from a husband and wife.

Well, the wife had no good veins due to not drinking any water...but I found it and 5 vials later she was done.

Husband steps up and says, "Oh they never get mine. They are really hard, so don't worry if you don't."

2 sticks later and still no blood.

Since it is more elective and necessary he said, "Oh don't worry about it! I don't want to really have it run anyway."

Well, that was that and then he left.

2 Hours later I find out it's this guy:

Larry Gibson AKA the first counselor in the General Young Men's Presidency.

Yes. A general authority. I am glad I didn't know that BEFORE I drew or I would have been much more nervous.

Wish I would have gotten blood. 

Better luck next time.

Yesterday was a poopy day.

It really was. One of those where I was just tired and grouchy for no good reason.

The day started out great when I lost my keys for an hour so I was late...
I had to find THOSE exact keys and not my spare because I am the only one with a key to the clinic in Salt Lake.
That mademe nervous when I left late.

It was pouring, which I usually like, but not when I had a cooler, file hangers, a laptop,
a purse, a lunch, and a backpack to carry
and when there is a girl who just sits there watching me
struggle and drop everything while I opened the door,
it kind of gets to you.

Our last appointment was at one, but I had a blood draw that COULD NOT COME (her words, she was desperate to get in) until 5.
So I decided to do her a favor after speaking with
her on the phone and said I would wait if
she could come right at five.
In the midst of that time period of nothing to do I read about every single
People and Time magazine I could get my hands on
and I read about this marriage that is crumbling:

This made me really sad to see this marriage ending. Poor kids.
Well, 4 hours later the girl shows up late and says to me,
"oh you know what, I think I decided that I don't want to have
the blood work done after all. I thought about it and I think it is too expensive."

Oh really lady, did you figure that out a while ago??? You could have called.
I was ticked, wouldn't normally be, but I was.

Well, because of that delay that meant I was going to be leaving Salt Lake at 5:30 which means horrible traffic....
and it was.

2 hours and 500 incidences of being cut off (which also adds to my buggy mood) later,
I was home watching So You Think You Can Dance.
I felt much better after that.

Whew, good thing there was a new day today, and I am happy to report I am not fussy today.

Events that can happen in 16 hours at an old folks home.

All names have been changed*

 Sitch number 1:

Today Yolanda came up to me and jokingly said,

"Hey you're a little chicken sh%$. Hahahah! Oh stinky I'm kidding."

"Oh Yolanda I know you are."

"Good, cuz I love ya honey. In fact you're the only mormon I like."

(I'm pretty sure she IS mormon she just forgot)

Sitch number 2

Bernille walks out and throws a VHS at me.

"Bernille what is this for?"

"Take it away right now."

"What's wrong with it darlin'"

"It's too sexy, I don't want to watch it!"

HA!

Sitch number 3

Teresa who is pretty far gone with dementia and laughs and cries almost simultaneously,

says to me in her very most mom voice and with a very serious face,

"Now honey, I love ya, but you don't come in here and just pull my pants down like you do."

"Alright sweetheart I will try."

"Good, because I am so tired of you comin' in and taking my binders,

but you know I just love ya honey."

....Huh?

Sitch number four:

I went in to check on Lamar's brief to see if he had wet.

I pulled it down a little to check and he yells:

"Help! Help! You're hurtin' me!"

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to."

"Well, yeah, you'll never understand because you've never felt it

and you women don't have one of those down there!"

Oh man it was sure a long day. I won't do another double shift for a long time.

It was fun though, and I had a lot of good laughs like usual. 

Dear guys that date,

WALK YOUR DATE TO THE DOOR.

I have been on sooo many dates (one recently) where my date
didn't walk me to the door.
Common courtesy boys.
Doesn't mean you have to marry her....
But seriously!?
Maybe I am crazy, but I get really bugged when I get the awkward
goodbye INSIDE the car, and I don't know whether I should wait
or start walking in awkwardly while I feel like all
he can see is my behind.

It is just weird to me.
Enough said.

Old folks moments

It seems I always have really funny stories to tell about my jobs between nannying and working with old people (or at least funny to me).

A few days ago one of the guys that I take care of (for HIPPA reasons we will call him Richard) said funnier stuff than usual.
He sits in his chair day after day, and his dear wife is there EVERY single day to take care of him.
This results in a conversation that goes like this:

"Richard how you feeling?"
"Help! Help!"
"Richard, I'm right here. You're ok."
"Are you my wife"
"No sweetheart, I'm not your wife, but she is coming soon!"
"So is Christmas."

HA! Genius.

Next episode. We will call her Judy.
Judy calls me snitch, I call her stinky.
"Judy! How you feeling?"
"I don't know. How am I feeling?"
"So good! You never felt or looked better in your whole life!"
"Oh you're cute as a button!"
"Stinky, you're full of it."
"Full of what? S#*$? Because I think I went to the bathroom eight times today!"
"Oh you're funny Judy! What brought you to Utah?"
"Stupidity."
(Laughing REALLY hard by now)
"Because of all the mormons?"
"Oh honey, I don't know what those are. What are they then?"
"Oh you know, that one religion that takes over Utah? I'm one."
"Oh good, I think I like em' then"

LOVE MY JOB.

funnier stories to come.

Blind date.

I had a blind date on saturday night and it was SO fun. We went SAILING!

How cool is that? Thanks to Bonnie she got me set up and we had a great time, lots of laughing, and relaxed which was nice.

I never really understood how much there is to sailing.
Fun hobby to take up.

Now I just need a boat.