Thursday, September 22, 2011

Old Folks say the darndest things :)

It's never know what will come next. It is so great.

Here are some of my favorite things that were said in the last couple weeks at work...

1. While I was getting someone in bed for the night:

Me: "Man, I am just so tired I might have to steal your little beddy!"
Resident: "Oh you don't have to steal it! Just jump in here and get sniggly and snoogly and snogly and close those little Asian eyes."

2. Me: "Are you tired? Do you want me to help get you in your jamies and to bed?"
Resident: "Oh! Yes, yes, yes...I old and I'm ugly and I'm tired and I'm even pregnant!"

3. Me: "Oh my word, you just look so pretty! You got your hair all snazzied up!"

Patient with a sweet Southern Belle accent/the most sarcastic attitude in all the world:
"Oh yes, I am SO pretty. And I have lot's of money, and plenty of boyfriends, and the most beautiful wardrobe in all the world...and I have no wrinkles and I am not old at all! You want me to keep going??"

She is THE cutest 98 year old I have ever seen.

4. A lady came to sing (so sweet), but our little Alzheimer's side was just little more agitated than usual.
This is how my conversation went..
Resident: "How long is this going to go on?"
Me: "Just for a half an hour."
Resident: "Well, I don't want to listen to this! Where are the rest of the people that live here??"
Me: "They are taking a nap."
Resident: "Lucky Ba*t$%ds, don't have to listen to this all day."

5. One resident thought we were in a cemetery and that dead people were on top of live people.
They insisted that I called the caretaker RIGHT THIS SECOND and get the back hoe and dig them up.
This meant a 5 min fake phone call to the "care taker".

6. One resident LOVES hot chocolate. In fact, they won't eat or drink anything (for the most part) but hot chocolate. I say by 95 you have earned the right to do nothing but drink hot chocolate all day if you want to (we put Ensure instead of milk so that there is at least a LITTLE nutrients in it). I call them "Swiss Miss" and told them if I had to take her blood I don't think we would find blood, but just hot chocolate!

7. Me: "I am so sorry sweetheart, but we are going to have to take you to the hospital...the ambulance will be right here to get you."
Resident: "Ohhhhh no! I am just fine! Tell them I don't want to...and I'm afraid of the big bad wolf."

8. I got called a hornynick because I wouldn't give a sugar free resident a chocolate...what the judd is a hornynick? I don't know but I was dying laughing.

Oh dear...I love these kids.

More later. 


Sheri said...

Chels, you make me want to work at an old folks home!! I love reading your posts about them! It just brightens my day!! I love it! And it sounds like they love you too, you horneynick!! Haha.