Tuesday, October 9, 2012


Where to begin??

Things are definitely going better rather than worse, and that is great news! Finally.

My little heart is still pitter pattering, just a lot slower these days. Every once in a while my heart rate get's down to 45 or 50...seriously, and I just feel so exhausted. They said not panic though, it is just the meds.

Three times a week I go to cardiac rehab where they hook me up to all kinds of things while I exercise very slowly. It can definitely be frustrating sometimes to see how little I do compared to my normal self.  I usually am only able to do 1 pound weights (seriously) and sometimes that can be depressing. One pound?? I start to wonder when I will ever be normal again. Then on the other side of things, I did the bike 40 whole minutes and can lift my one pound weights above my head! Ya, that's right. I'm awesome. What an improvement! I think when I get negative it is just when I realize how far I have to go, but then have to quickly remember how far I have come.

The whole journey can just be so, so crazy. I am learning so much as I go along.

Some other great things going on...

After the inability to get ahold of ANYONE (nurse, doctor, whatever) at my doctor's office, I had kind of had it. My pleurisy hurt so bad and my insurance would not cover the meds he had written me. It was so inflamed and acting up without that medication and I just. needed. help. That's all! I couldn't sleep or sit in class and I really needed a listening ear (of course, the mother always get's an ear full) and a different medication to help. Finally, I just decided that it wasn't a heart problem and could go to my family care doctor to help with my lungs. He spent at least 30 mins listening and setting up a plan of healing, not just for my lungs, but for my muscles and all my aches and pains from surgery. His younger sister had open heart and he knows how difficult it can be and how sometimes surgeons don't understand the after pain months down the road. Thank goodness someone who understands. He told me to plan on not feeling like myself for a year. Blah. As much as that sucks to hear, it was good to know! If it comes earlier, great. But to plan on a year so I won't expect something differently. It was great to finally have someone give me healing timeline and be so compassionate. He gave me some great medication that is not habit forming or addictive, but is really, REALLY helping with the pain. He will check in with me every two weeks for the next little while and see how things are going.

You can't imagine how much more pleasant I am when my pain is managed. I finally feel like a human again and like I can function without always having pain on my mind. I also finally don't want to punch everyone in the face. The thing about pain management is that when it is under control you do so much more and can essentially heal faster. Imagine that! I am happy camper when I am pain-free.

I also am still in school. Yes! I am doing it. I am going to accomplish my goal, I can just feel it. And a huge thank you to my professors who are being so helpful to help to accomplish that goal. All in all I have only missed three days collectively in each class. Not too shabby!

And finally, I am starting to have some semblance of a social life. I can't do a lot of things the regular kids can do, but I am super awesome at movie nights and dinner. I have loved getting out and being with people. It really feels great.

Made it to my mission reunion! 
Amazing to see everyone. 

 Hung out with this girl...
Only my best friend since kindergarten.
Doesn't matter how long we go, we pick up right where we left off.
I adore this lady.

 Annnnnd Ash came to visit.
Another one of my best friends of all time!
She slept over, watched conference, and laughed over Honey Boo Boo.

All and all, things are getting better. I have good days and bad days, and days that I just want to curl up in bed and tell the world to go away. But then the next day comes, and I am a happy girl.

I still have a lot of anxiety for December and to find out if I have to have another procedure done that could potentially have a lot of complications. I could really use your prayers on that one. I don't honestly know if I could handle that.

Breathing now. And taking it one day at a time!

More later :).


Zane and Cami said...

Love your face. SO glad to hear you fam doc was able to give ya SOMETHING! I'll go pop your cardiologist team in the head if ya want. Darn people. Hope I get to see you over Thanksgiving!