Sunday, October 21, 2012

Good days, and bad days.

This week has been so hard and so good all at once.

Such a roller coaster of emotions and silly me goes up and down all the time.

I guess the hard part was feeling pretty horrible all week and getting some not so good news at the doctor. I won't update right now because some things aren't for sure, but it was just crappy news at one doctor to only go to another and get more bad news. 

After soaking it all in I cried and cried and cried some more. Some days I just don't know how much more I can take and how many more walls I can hit. After trying to pull myself together I went and took a midterm that I didn't do horrible on, but didn't do great either. Ew, I was so mad and cried some more. I guess I was being a baby and having one of those, "life is seriously unfair"moments. Every once in a while those are necessary! As I was bawling, I was praying so hard for some comfort. To know things were going to be ok. I felt so small at that moment and alone and my mind started going crazy. I started catastrophizing everything and looking around at all of the other students on campus and comparing all of these physically active people to me and my situation. I felt worthless and alone.

All of the sudden this song randomly came on my iPod. I've never paid attention to the words very closely and happened to notice what it really said this time. It was written for THIS lady. I think most people know her...she was burned severely in a plane crash that altered what she looked like dramatically. She has had so many surgeries and been through so much and her story helps me to keep going. I am in no way comparing what I have been through to what she has, but this song was exactly what I needed to hear, when I needed to hear it. There is no question in my mind it was comfort and answers to a plea to Heavenly Father to help me feel worthwhile no matter what my circumstances. People could argue it was coincidence, but I know it wasn't. It meant the world to me. It is always incredible when I have those glimpses that show me without question there is a God who is aware of me and my silly needs.

You can listen to it here...

That night I had a sushi with a good friend and about 6 BYU rugby players....not bad. Really boosted my mood... haha. After I went to a great movie night with a bunch of people I met in my ward and took my mind off of everything. Being with awesome people makes everything better.

Other good things have happened like moving into my apartment finally (I'll post pictures when I finish decorating...could be a while). It is so great to have my own space, even though I miss home so much. It is definitely only five minutes away and I have been moved out only a few days. However, I ended up back staying with my family for the weekend already. Ha! Oops...I guess I just miss being at home quite a bit. My dad told me this is ending up a "failure to launch" type of situation. Rude. Of course he was kidding, but it might be verging on that a little.

And finally, on Saturday I finally saw Thriller with these crazy kids:

I have heard for years how awesome it is and have never had the chance to go. Thanks to Tyler I was finally able to go and I loved it! If you live in Utah and have never been, you really need to go. Makes me love Halloween so much more and wish I was a dancer.

After we went to the Pie Pizzeria, one of my favorite places ever, and hit up City Creek to do some shopping. Great day I would say!  Thanks for a great time guys.

To sum it all up, each day brings something different. Some weeks there are more bad than good, and others more good than bad. That's life for you! I just need to keep moving forward with a good attitude and remember things can and will get better....sometimes things just aren't fun in the process.

That's it for now. Happy Sunday!


Autumn said...

Sounds like a great day...especially eating food with the Rugby players haha.

I miss my time at BYU so much! Live it up.