Tuesday, February 26, 2013


I have been thinking about motherhood a lot lately.

I don't know what happened at about 21, but my mothering instincts and my longing to be a mother really kicked into high gear.

I have always wanted to be a mother. I can think of no greater position or calling in life. I applaud kind, gentle, loving, nurturing mothers who do their best to raise great children. I can also think of no more of a difficult job. I am so grateful for such a wonderfully kind and amazing mother who I can always look to for that example.

Some part of me... some part of my heart and my spirit loves to nurture and care for something and someone. Whether it be an animal, my patients, or my family. Having something to care for and love and watch grow brings me so much joy. I have no shame in saying that I cannot wait for the day when I get to have a child of my own, and I just really hope it comes sooner rather than later (after I am better that is).

I know people always say, "you're so young, don't rush it and enjoy this time!" or "just be patient, your time will come." I have no doubts, I know it will. Doesn't mean I don't long for it. Part of my frustration comes from my inability to move on with life right now because of these illnesses. And don't think for a second that I don't thank Heavenly Father every day that I do not have children during this particular time of my life....that I am able to pass through these trials of sickness and surgeries while I am single and don't have children. I can't imagine having to care for a family and myself during this time. But I sure can't wait to move the heck on!

So I will wait patiently, for the time when I get to see those sweet faces. I have had some very sacred and spiritual experiences and dreams about my future children. I have felt them in my life already. I know, without a doubt, that my life has been spared because I have more to do. I am supposed to be a mom. Not right now, but some day...and I can't wait for that time in my life.

Right now, I will mother my two little doggie kiddles :).

Which, ok, ya, everyone thinks is funny. But it has been so good for me at this time in my life (where really I have no life while I try to heal) to take care and love and nurture and teach them things. I really love it and love them. And I will wait for the day til I can have my own little family. And I just hope I can be half the mom my mother is to me. I treasure so much all the lessons she has taught me, especially how to be the best mom ever!

I will look so forward to that day.

Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. 
                                                        -Howard W. Hunter


Jasmine said...

You're gonna be an awesome mom. its even better than I imagined (motherhood is)