O.

The Queen.

Oprah.

Gosh, I just love her.

Ya, ya, I get teased about it all the time.

Sure I wrote a research paper on her.

Ya, so I quote her I all the time.

And, ya my friends tease me about her relentlessly.

And I would give my left arm for her to show up on my doorstep and tell me that should she would fund my non profit idea.

And ok, so I told a bunch of guys in my living room the other day I thought she was pretty high up on my list and they all put their head in their hands and gave me the "look" and almost they told me they hated me right then and there.

BUT I just think she is REALLY pretty great. Who is just born on a dirt road, abused their whole life and then just gets to own the world and give stuff away all the time? No one does. She is a pretty freakin rad humanitarian. Even if I don't believe in all the things she does 100% of the time, I respect her. And if I got to tell everyone my opinion 100% of the time...got to make everyone listen all the time to what believe in - well, they would get an ear full. And well, a whole lot of deserving people would be getting a lot of things they really need, just like she gets to do and give it to them. Man I envy her.

The point of all of this, was that on like my 100th episode of Oprah the other day as my crippled mother ( her foot surgery went great by the way) and I watched captivated, she announced that she had a half sister (crazy right?). Well,  my mom made a HILARIOUS joke and yelled out at the end in her very best Oprah voice, "everyone in the audience.... is getting a new sister!!! YOU'RE ALL GOING HOME WITH YOUR VERY OWN SISTER!!"

I literally wet my pants it was so funny.

Good one mom. Sooooo good. O (get it?) so good.

It reminded me of this THIS clip (hilarious).

Today is a new day.

So I finally slept. Yay! I FINALLY SLEPT! I am so happy I could weep.

I didn't mean to get so snappy and grumpy yesterday....but  I REALLY didn't feel good.

Also, my dad may have had a super stressful day and my mom had only just been in for foot surgery 24 hours prior so I was trying to take care of her, while taking care of myself. She was also trying to take care of me while taking also care of herself....both of those don't work. Also making me more grump. That last post...grumpy, and emotional.

Anyway, I finally slept and although I still really don't feel good and have a migraine and all of that good stuff... sleep is my friend, and sleep makes me a happy person...and so now I can cope.

So watch me cope today as I watch another ten episodes of Grey's Anatomy. Seriously I wish someone would have told me it was so good.

And update on the overall health and the going on the mission and all  is that  the doctor said she would not send me back out for 2 to 3 months if at all...this recovery is going to take time. So that is really hard for me to accept. However, it is great because I am not going through anything serious or life threatening...this is fixable, it just makes feel really not good...and like bashing my head through a window. But this is such a blessing because really I have not been well for 6 years or so, and I think I have gotten half way better so many times. But we are at the basement level here, and I have nothing standing in my way to hurry and get better for...I can get all the way better and move forward with my life and I feel so at peace with what Heavenly Father has in store for me. So it is going to be ok, even if I don't love the process.

I just have to be patient and a few of the pills they have me on are not going to make me happy for the next little while...hence, the last few days and not sleeping and feeling so nauseated and like I want to take an axe to my body. Next week is going to be even  more rough, maybe it won't and someone up there will cut me some slack, but I am just going to prepare for the worst.

Thanks so much for all the prayers and help in my behalf. I will keep moving forward and working towards whatever future the Lord has in store. As for now I still am pretty much bound to the laying down and to the TV and once in a great while getting out....movie anyone??

So pathetic. hahah

The Scoop.

Uhhhh....

The cold hard facts of my last couple days are KILLING me.

The fact that I have not slept in over 34 hours - ya, that one hurts. Thirty FOUR hours.

And thirty four hours of off and on migraine and nausea and a lot of other random things I won't even bother mentioning.... also, killing me softly.

It is enough to make me insane. Clinically.

And I have to eat, I don't want to eat - I really don't, because I want to throw up instead...however, I need to shove down a very large number of supplements and pills.

Oh and it makes me sick not eat. But it makes me sick TO eat ....hmmmm??? What to do??? It is quite the conundrum isn't it??

I want to cry. Yep....crying. Done.

You should probably just glue my eyelids open...because no sleeping done here.

Ya, that would probably work.

Hey, might even help the migraine....because then the air can get to my brain and dry it all up!!!!

The good news is sarcasm, my blog, and knowing I am going to get better makes me feel BETTER!

And, I have netflix.

So life is good. Way good.

K now I am laughing....all better :)

The tube.

So I have been home for a while right?

And with nothing to do....absolutely nothing.
I mean I have too many migraines a week to read except to just enough to stand personal study (and sometimes that means someone reading to me or listening to a talk on the internet) and when I get enough energy I get out and take a ride in the care.

In the mean time....I watch TV....A LOT of TV.
And when I say a lot, I mean a lot.
I mean, honestly I don't know what else to do, you know? I'm pretty incapacitated right now...
So in the mean time we got Netflix and Apple tv and Hulu and Directv.

It is bad people. It's sick...and so am I. Oh...and I have nothing else to do.

Plus Oprah has her new OWN network. I mean hello people! Next to the Prophet she is the best.

Trust me when I say I would do something more productive (like a mission...or just even like anything) if I could function like a normal human being.

So here is to my new favorites:
Off the Map
The Bachelor
Modern Family
Oprah Presents: Master Class
The Oprah Winfrey Show (Her last season! I can't even stand it! I. Love. Her. So. Much. And if you didn't hear she has a long lost sister. Ya, look it up. She announced it on her show yesterday. I am totally caught up.)
The Ultimate Cake Off
Grey's Anatomy (Had no idea this show was so addicting. Started it on netflix two days ago. Hooked. )
Lost
Saturday Night Live
The Office
And eight bazillion other movies I can't even list or I might look like an even crazier person.

You can come watch with me....???

Don't judge.

Home from the mission for a time...

Sooo here is the story....


I have been making up these crazy blogs to try and keep it really quiet that I have actually been home since Dec 23rd for these really debilitating migraines. I REALLY wanted to stay out in the mission, but as much as I begged and pleaded the President made me come home. Actually, it was really crazy because he called my companion the night before and said this

President Martin: "Sister Madubueze, tell Sister Gould I am coming to visit her in the morning."
Sister M: "Do you want me to have you call you tonight?"
Preside Martin: "No, just tell her I am coming in the morning."

Well, they came to pick me up the member's house I was staying at and she told me the news that he was coming. My heart fell to my stomach and I was as nervous as I could be and my migraine spiked to an all time high. I didn't sleep that night and my mind and heart turned to full out prayer...I knew as the Lord spoke to me that I was going home. It was all in the plan....peace filled my soul.

The next day my President came with his sweet wife and asked me how I was doing. I admitted that the migraine had not stopped and it had been two weeks of nothing but straight pain. They had knocked me out twice with a strong shot of a narcotic called Nubaine for 24 hours straight but had not stopped the cycle of the migraine. Then I had been on 2 weeks of Norco and nothing even touched the hellish ordeal of the migraine. He told me, "Sister Gould, I have been praying about what to do with you. There are not doctors here in the desert to handle this case. I have been consulting with your parents and with missionary medical and we feel it best to get you on a plane. I have also been consulting with the Lord and he likes to stretch missionaries, but he also likes to tell me when enough is enough...and he says it is enough. Can you handle being put on a plane today?"

Well...he had me on a plane by 4:35 pm that day. Tears streamed down mine and my companions face as I went through security.

My head felt like it filled the plane as we left the ground...it was almost too much pressure to handle.

I wept as I saw my mom. It was so many emotions! It was soooo good to see her, but I REALLY didn't want to be home. I wanted to be teaching and knocking on doors and having a Christmas in the mission field calling from our mission.



Well, here I have been, and it has been really hard and also a really big blessing. I have been taught more in this time than I can even explain. Only a few people have known because we really didn't want my health to define me.  I have had health challenges before, and this was another bump in the road. We really are getting things figured out, but these chronic migraines/hormones are tough to figure out. They are extremely debilitating and it takes a lot out of me....HOWEVER, I know I am getting better and I have had so many amazing blessings that have promised me that I would be healed and that Heavenly Father has a plan for me. What that plan is...I don't know. But I DO know, that this has been by divine design. That there have been SO many reasons for me to come home and I have seen it almost every other day...I just take it a day at a time and let the Lord show me why.


Pray for me will you??

It has been a while! Sorry!

Hey Everyone!

Sorry I have been so terrible at writing. We really have just been trying to get the migraines figured out and all of it under control...I wish I had more news for everyone! But that is about it.

THANK YOU so much to everyone for all  of the sweet gifts and cards for Christmas! I haven't been able to thank everyone personally or write back because of not feeling well...but a really special thanks to:

Clare and Lia: Thank you so much for the package and letter !! Love you guys so much and miss you. That meant so much to me to get a gift from you! Hope your Christmas in the U.S. was awesome!

Penny Dunaway: A big thanks to you and Stephen for the sweet gift. You are SO kind to always think of me and write and send such cute gifts. I love them so much and appreciate your support! Love you!

Whittles: Thanks Whit for the great package! You have been the number one supporter slash writer of my whole mish! Thank you for always caring about me! LOVE YOU!

And to everyone who prays for me and sends me letters and have been so supportive I just can't thank you enough. My heart just bursts with lots of love for each of you!

I had an amazing blessing this week and I really think that sooner rather than later these chronic migraines will stop. It has definitely been a trial, but I have seen so many amazing miracles come because of it. My blessings all say that it is by divine design that all of this has happened and I know that to be true. I am just so glad that it is not seizures anymore and that really I am doing as well as I am. The Lord is really watching out for me and I have full confidence that I will finish my mission. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and next monday and I think we are going to get some answers. 

I love this gospel with all my heart! This mission has taught me so much and I still can't believe how blessed I have been to be able to go. It definitely is not easy, but it has taught me more in these last 6 months than I could have every hoped for. I am definitely a different person and I am so glad for that. I know with all of my heart that Jesus is the Christ and that he is our Savior and our Redeemer. I love that I know that he not only suffered for my sins, but also for all of my pains, insecurities, loss, heartbreak, and disappointment....there is no devastating experience that he hasn't been lower than. He descends below all to lift us higher and that truly is so wonderful to know! I love the Book of Mormon and I know that it is the word of God, and that when combined with the Bible we have all the of the truths of the gospel. I know because I have prayed to know! And if that Book of Mormon is true, Joseph Smith truly was his prophet and this really is Christ's Church once again restored for our day. I love it because it is the BESTEST news EVER!

Love Always,

Sister Sheltz