Thursday, July 31, 2008

This too shall pass....

This is how I feel right now.

So I am not gonna lie, I'm sad day today. Looks like after just over a month of recovery from my right knee surgery, I have to have surgery on the other one. I am so blessed because truly I am doing SO much better than I was this time last year and have gone pretty much 5 months without a seizure, my hair is growing back, my energy is so much better than it was, and over all I am just 100% better than I was. But I am not gonna lie....I am tired. Tired of being pushed back down every time I pick myself up. Most of the time I can have a good attitude about the whole thing, but sometimes I just need a day to be frustrated. And today was one of those days. I am back in Orem again after just BARELY getting back down. I had to leave the nanny job again and I know it has been really hard on Steph because there has been no stability with different nannies covering for me. Anyway, I know I shouldn't feel this way but every time I have to deal with ANOTHER unreal health problem or issue with this body I have, it makes me feel like a failure....and I am scared. I don't wanna do surgery again. Anyway.....that is my vent for the day! Like "they" always say - "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!" And I am definitely not dead! Anwyay, wish me luck! It's gonna be interesting having two hurty knees. Meh.

2 comments:

The Payne's said...

Alright, time to trade your body for a new one! It is too broken!! What is going on with your knees? Why do you have to get surgery? Dear, I hope life gets better for you. You are one of the strongest people I know! Hope everything goes ok with this next surgery.

Kristi said...

love! when is your surgery?? I want to come see you. let me know...I love you and will pray for you!