Monday, December 28, 2009


So after popular demand - or maybe just Ash - I will tell some more of my funny little girl stories.

So...this one time I lied. It's true. And well, one thing you learn with my dad really quick is that you don't lie. Ever. So after I got caught in my lie that fateful day I knew I was in deep.

Now my parents weren't exactly what I call "the spanking" kind necessarily. I had a few swats with a spatula here and there, but nothing really hard or traumatic.

Well, clear as day I remember after that lie my dad saying, "Well, little Chelsers, for lying you are gonna get a bare bum spankin."

Also clear as day I remember SHREAKING in horror. "Please dad! No! I pro-hom-ise I won't ever, never tell a lie again!!!"

Now I have what we like to call "puff eyes" as well. Slghtly Asian with really squishy eyelids. This makes for EXTREME crying. When I would cry, I would squeeze those puffs together so tight that the mom said the tears would propel like little torpedos and shoot straight out. This was definitely one of those times.

Welp down went the pants and over his knee I went screaming the entire way.

All I heard was "Slap! Slap! Slap!" With every slap came a shriek or scream more dramatic than the first.

Then all of the sudden! I realized, dad wasn't spanking me at all! He was hitting his own dang leg. That's right...never touched me once. My mom, who thought I was being beaten to death, came running to see us both laughing instead. I got not a single bare bum spankin for that lie, just years of hearing the story over and over again.

Gosh, I was so dramatic.



Alexis! said...

Oh my, this was so cute!! Haha :) I had to read this aloud to my mom, loved it!