We finally have some answers kids.

It's been a long journey...and well, we are not there yet. But today I feel closer than I have ever been!!

After years and years I feel like I finally have a grasp on things and hopefully it is not false hope.


I went to be tested for my PFO aka my hole in my heart and I was so nervous... a) because my dad was having his big surgery (he is doing great by the way...had a lot of bleeding but doing good) and b) I just wanted this so bad. I had a lot of faith building experiences the last couple of days and I just felt like this was it! I felt good about it...but I was still so nervous.

The way they test you for this PFO junk is they stick an IV in your arm with saline and then they put a pretty crown on your head with gel on the sides. Meanwhile, they have you do a bunch of different things like blow in a tube, lay down, sit up, and bare down while they inject bubbles in your IV. After that the bubbles pass through your IV, to your lungs, then your heart and then to your brain. If a lot of bubbles show up then you have a big PFO...if only a little - a small PFO....medium bubbles - you get the point.

The tech gave me a lot of hope when she got really excited at the beginning and yelled, "YAY! You have a TON of bubbles!" I teared up as I had been praying, "Heavenly Father, I BETTER have this right now." and I thought, "WOW! That really worked!" Then she said, "Well,  on that test you didn't have very many..." then I was thinking, "LADY! Don't say ANOTHER word of false hope, or I will literally strangle you."

Who would every think that anyone would ever want a heart defect??

Apparently a lot of people who come into this clinic who have tried everything and are as miserable as I am.

Well, after the test was over they took me into another room with my Grandma and we tried to make small talk and get my mind of my nerves. The tech had told me I was a 4 on the scale of 5...which was moderate and nothing conclusive. Oooofff course it was. Don't make it easy on me by any means by making it a big gaping hole!

The nurse came in and was lovely and basically said that I definitely have a hole in my heart, but with this test it is moderate. If I was just anyone and just had headaches she would send me home and say try some other things. But with my long history of seizures (which we never had an answer to), sleep apnea, fatigue, migraines with aura, and a whole list of other neurological problems that have been inconclusive they have reason to believe that this would answer all of those questions. So she said they would like to do more testing and an echo when the doctor is in. She said she hopes right along with me that this is the answer and has every reason to believe that this would be the answer we have been looking for for so long.

The only down side is more waiting because I can't get in until March 30th.

I hope...I hope SO BAD this is the end of my journey....and I believe it is.

All I can say is when I feel so much better is I will be a FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH. So watch out. 

Thanks for all your prayers! Keep on praying for just a little longer will you? I could use them.